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Everyone appears to be getting laid on TV, social media, and in the movies… in real life, it’s actually kind of hard to find couples that are seriously looking for fellow swingers.

The majority of couples just aren’t into it. Some only swing with their own friends, kind of a closed circle sort of thing. Then again, there ARE other swinging couples looking for dates…but locating these mysterious sexy strangers is a challenge.

Here we look at the top 11 best swinger sites for finding open-minded people!

How We Chose the Top Swinger Dating Site

You may wonder, how did we figure out what sites to include?

We actually conducted a research project and registered for about 20 different swingers sites. Over the course of 25 hours or so, our profile and pictures got a lot of responses – and mostly from the top 5 sites on our list.

For our Top 11 list that caters to swingers, open marriages, poly dating, and everything in between, we considered factors like members, dating app UI, response, quality of responders, intelligence of the conversation (indicating humans, not bots), and the number of swinger events or dates offered.

By the end of this list, you might have one favorite swinger site that sticks out in your mind!

Top Swinger Sites in 2021

1. AdultFriendFinder – Best place to find swingers overall
2. SwapFinder – Sexy chat room with local swinger
3. SwingLifeStyle – Meet friendly swinger couples
4. Swingers Date Club – Best swingers clubs
5. Reddit Swingers R4R – Meet swingers for free
6. Seeking – Have a threesome easily
7. Alt.com – Kinky open-minded dating site
8. Ashley Madison – Find partners in open relationships
9. Kasidie – Got to exciting swinger events
10. Fetlife – Freakiest hookup partners
11. Tinder – Fast way to meet new people

1. AdultFriendFinder – Largest Swinger Site

Pros

• Search for a couple
• Subgroups and fetishes to chat about kinks
• Events, meetups, and contests for a community feel
• 100 million members worldwide

Cons

• Pretty high price, among the highest of any dating site

Starting back in 1996, Adult Friend Finder is the most well-known kinkster site online.

This adult dating site was matching up swingers and real-life gangbangs back when most of us were just discovering free porn for the first time. Adult Friend Finder also happens to have one of the most inclusive and open-ended searches of all dating sites.

It’s very handy!

You can look for couples, trans users, or groups, and designate your own sexual preferences. Even more interesting is that you can choose “how you swing”, deciding on which spouse gets sex, or if you’re just being a voyeur for the time being.

2. SwapFinder – Best For Swingers Video Chats

Pros

• Video trading, two-way video chat rooms
• 3somes, groups, BDSM, or LGBTQ
• Many members

Cons

• Limited features

SwapFinder is one of the largest swingers sites online, claiming 40 million profiles and offering a variety of matches, including full swap, threesomes, BDSM activities, and even group sex.

Nice!

Naturally, the best feature for swapping is their two-way live sex cams for both couples. You can start flirting as a couple and send flirts or come-ons to other couples when you see someone nice.

Start with a video chat before arranging for a sex date – this way, you know the other members are real before you meet them.

3. SwingLifeStyle – Best For Meeting Friendly Swinger Groups

Pros

• Groups, clubs, cruises – a community feel!
• “Couple next door” type swingers, not just supermodels
• Advanced search for kink

Cons

• More like a meet & greet than a swinger site

SwingLifeStyle promotes a “Swingers Next Door” kind of feel, with less emphasis on perfection and supermodels stripping on video, and more about finding real couples.

The Florida-based website emphasizes club meetings and even has connections with “Bliss Cruise”, and “Topless Travel” options for meet and greets.

The best feature of the site is the “Join a Group” and “Find a Club” option, which lets you become part of a larger swinger community.

4. Swingers Date Club – Best Swinger Clubs

Pros

• Got to swingers events & parties
• Customize full swap or hard swap
• Private swingers party invitations

Cons

• Outdated site layout

SDC is serious about finding your customized date! As soon as you sign up you can choose between swingers, hookups, fetishes, and even sex education while you’re at it. Like some of the best swinger sites, SDC focuses on groups and communities, as well as events and parties.

Swingers Date Club is taking online dating to the next level!

Many swingers enjoy meetup groups and events before they date a couple alone. Swingers Date Club also offers party searches and public events nearby, and more detailed profiles than the average site.

On top of all that, SDC is also one of the oldest swinger communities online, starting in 2000.

5. Reddit Swingers R4R – Best Free Swinger Site

Pros

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• Free site
• Fast instant messaging
• Personal ads from many users

Cons

• Usually, you’re meeting couples a long drive from you

Reddit Swingers is one of the most active dating groups for swingers, though its 200K members are substantially less than most of the other sites reviewed. Still, it’s an active community with a very direct approach.

You can enjoy free sign-up, instant chat, instant forum discussion, and private picture trading. If you don’t want to pay for the snappy features and just want to find or post a personal ad, Reddit Swingers won’t disappoint.

6. Seeking – Best Swinger Dating App For Threesomes

Pros

• Hang out with hot college girls
• Women join for free
• Verified millionaires

Con

• Only of interest to wealthy guys

Seeking.com is not a swinger dating website specifically, but it does just so happen to bring a lot of hot college girls together, all on the tab of a wealthy guy with no attachments.

The site isn’t about escorting, just sugar babies who are more than willing to chat about sex, fantasies, and what turns them on.

The female-to-male ratio is highest at this site, 4-1, which is great odds. It’s one of the best dating sites to find threesomes or a pool of sexy partners if you have the Bruce Wayne/Tony Stark kind of lifestyle.

7. Ashley Madison – Best Site to Find Partners in Open Relationships

Pros

• Great place to meet horny couples
• Also meet married women who want to cheat
• Photo editing tools for anonymity

Cons

• Not as popular for swinging as cheating

Believe it or not, Ashley Madison is not all about cheating. Plenty of profiles on the site are hot wives (sharing couples), open marriages, poly, and couples looking for threesomes. No names are required and in fact, sharing personal information is discouraged.

We love privacy.

Ashley Madison provides chat, email, travel perks for meeting lovers on the go, and most importantly, anonymity. If you’re a single guy looking for couples, Ashley Madison has the tools you need. While not strictly a swinger dating app, it might just do the trick.

8. Alt.com – Best Website For Meeting Swingers With Fetishes

Pros

• Meet BDSM or basic swinging couples
• No ads, high-quality profiles
• Fewer spammers than competing site “Fetlife”

Cons

• Paid subscription, limited free preview

Alt.com is a BDSM-themed site with a high number of active users. There are multiple fetishes and relationship types here, not to mention an LGBTQ+ friendly atmosphere.

While the site is not free, for a low-cost you can get away from the ads, fake profiles, and spammers.

The extended questionnaire, for example, helps root out the weaklings from the dedicated users who want to have some sex already.

9. Kasidie – Best Swinger App For Events

Pros

• Go to swinger parties & events
• Fetish & kink matching
• Swinger community listings and groups

Cons

• Sometimes hard to meet couples without attending events

Kasidie offers anonymous couples matching with customized levels of privacy. You can look through photo albums or chat with others in a forum or online messaging.

Most importantly, Kasidie offers hundreds of listings for swinger parties, swinging events, and even resort sleepovers.

Besides the club listings, the swinger website also provides private and even secret communities catering to specific fetishes or general interests.

10. Fetlife – Freakiest Hookup Partners

Pros

• Free chat with members
• Plenty of swingers in a relationship
• Tons of fetishes & rooms

Cons

• Lots of spammers
• Many horny male users without partners

Fetlife is primarily known as a BDSM hookup site, roleplay site, and the darker side of the dating scene, where you can openly discuss blackmail play, dungeon flogging, cage training, and whatever else would make Christian Grey blush.

It’s not like the other dating sites.

But Fetlife is also known as a great place to find swinger partners because most couples on Fetlife are spoken for AND looking. Everyone here is probably open to sex or swinging IF the fetish matches and if they like your photos/videos.

11. Tinder – Best Way to Meet Horny People Open to Swinging Nearby

Pros

• Free messaging & signup
• 100s of swipes per day for free
• Swinger couples and plenty of generous dudes

Cons

• Probably next to Craigslist for “worst date ever” stories

Tinder is a special case because it is both the best of times and the worst of times when it comes to swinging. Sure, plenty of open-minded partners are on Tinder looking for swapping or for a third.

But there are also plenty of Tinder horror stories, “awkward” stories, and all sorts of swinging fails that come from an unfiltered “free” service. If you’re picky about who you meet, Tinder might be a disaster.

A Sexy Guide to Swinging & Non-Monogamy

It’s actually great that you have questions about swinging. The worst thing you can do is jump, uh head first, into an unpredictable sexual situation.

As you will learn, successful swinging is all about communicating with your partner and your new sex buddies.

Why Some Couples Swing – The Swinger Lifestyle

First, try to understand that there’s no “one size fits all” in the swinger lifestyle.

Some couples or poly families have always been non-monogamous. Sometimes they grow up around it. Sometimes they learn it, because of a busy work schedule or frequent travel.

Other couples are curious and want to spice up their sex life. They may have even more complex rules and desires, and it’s important to understand them individually.

Not everyone wants the same thing, even in a freethinking lifestyle such as swinging.

Swinging – Does It Hurt or Help a Relationship?

Experienced swingers will tell you to leave the personal drama at home, and to get your issues fixed BEFORE bringing someone else into your bedroom.

A lot of toxicity follows around some couples that have warped ideas of what swinging and sharing really means.

Be clear!

It’s definitely not a hobby for the jealous, the ultra-sensitive, or the confused. The more chill you are, the STRONGER the bond with your partner already is, the better the experience will be.

Approach Your First Swinging Couple as a Couple

Try to approach the first flirt or conversation as you would dating normally. Start with a friendly greeting, or a question, or an introduction.

There’s no need to be snarky!

Swinger partners want to know you’re safe, normal, and interesting before they proceed. You’re all like-minded people trading monogamy for the interesting swinger lifestyle.

It’s important to have good photos available of the two of you, including full body shots, a “pro” shot (even better if you’re hugging each other), and anything else adorable.

Be available if your first couple wants to chat with both of you on video or by phone. As much as possible, try to establish that you’re real, serious, and ready to meet in person.

Approaching Your First Swinging Couple as a Unicorn

If you’re a single person then it’s very important to let your crush couple know you play by their rules. No showboating, no rude behavior, and nothing too weird.

Be upfront with your photos and be willing to chat on text, phone, or camera. Be chill!

If the swinging couple likes your photos, they will talk to you and make sure you understand how things are going to go. Be agreeable and very respectful of their boundaries.

Tread carefully and don’t assume being a unicorn means your fantasy is being fulfilled – it’s actually their fantasy first!

Swinging and Swinger Sites FAQs

Still confused about various terms you’ve heard in the swinging lifestyle? We have answers for you.

What is the difference between soft and hard or full swap?

A soft swap involves touching or caressing the spouse of another couple, or in some cases, just having sex with your partner in the same room as another couple.

Some couples prefer watching and avoiding all physical contact, at least for the first time. “Hard” swap or full swap means partner trading for a whole night or at least a few hours.

Do you have to be part of a couple when swinging online?

Not always, but keep in mind some swinger clubs and groups insist that you come with a partner. They might also allow single women in, but avoid inviting single men.

To be sure, check to see if these groups or couples are into wife sharing for single guys before assuming anything.

Have Fun Finding Swinger Clubs With These Sites

Adult Friend Finder was our top pick because it offered not only the best chance of getting laid by a hot couple but also because it had the greatest variety and diversity of users.

While other sites did have impressive features, your best bet on actually finding a date nearby willing to meet over drinks is Adult Friend Finder.

Have fun and be sure to share all the kinky details on some erotic confessions story sometime!

The internet has become the central place for discovering closed-door swinging sites. Finding a polyamory relationship at the local Starbucks is almost impossible. However, the listed websites are the best places to learn about The Lifestyle.

If you’re looking for sexual adventure, you could find it on the best swinger sites. Discover swinging parties for a full swap.

Swingers date club sites are easy to use and you can meet like-minded singles and couples for threesomes if you pay the per month membership fee.

What are the best swinger lifestyle sites? Let’s investigate.

But first…

About Me

My wife and I have stayed involved with the LA swinging scene for the past 20 years. Our hearts shared the sentiment that our days are best spent with ourselves in addition to other sexual partners. Since 1999 we have attended prominent swinging events from the Pacific Southwest to the Atlantic Northeast. We decided to bring our knowledge, experience, and expertise to the table and share some of our favorite swinging sites.

Top 10 Swinger Sites:

1. AdultFriendFinder – Best chance of finding swingers in your community
2. SwapFinder – Best for husbands and wives swapping partners
3. SwingLifeStyle – Best adult personals for posting ads about swinging
4. SDC – Best free site for finding swinging events
5. Ashley Madison – Married swingers dating site
6. Seeking – Best place to find attractive young swingers
7. Alt.com – Swingers who practice alternative lifestyles
8. Kasidie – Best social community for adventurous swinging couples
9. Reddit Swingers R4R – Free platform to meet swingers
10. Fetlife – Top swingers who are into fetishes
11. Tinder – Free app that can be used for finding anyone, including the occasional swinger

1. Adult Friend Finder: Biggest Swinger Site on the Planet

Adult Friend Finder is the leading online community for the sexually adventurous, namely those into the swinging lifestyle. Boasting more than 80 million users, AFF is the biggest site for singles and couples looking to add some spice into their sex lives. To get right to the fun stuff, click the Swingers search under the Hookup pull-down menu.

On AFF, it’s easy to register a free account and browse the site. To gain access to all the site features, you can choose from one of three Gold Membership options:

• 1 month = $39.95
• 3 months = $26.95 ($80.85 total)
• 12 months = $19.95 ($239.95 total)

Each charge rebills automatically until you terminate your membership. To find a swinging partner or third-wheel on AFF, use the AFF blogs and connect with other active users. The more time you put in, the more you’ll get out of this community.

Features

• Blogging section
• Swingers search filter
• Casual sex, threesomes search

Pros

• Three membership packages
• Community environment
• 80 million members

Cons

• 80% male
• Catfish/scammers

2. SDC: Best Site for Discovering Swinging Parties & Events

SDC (Seek, Discover, Connect) is a modern swingers forum with a scroll-loading interface. You’ll have to register before you can browse. Once inside, you’ll see an infinite table of member pics and a sidebar with filters and contact buttons. To unlock SDC’s features, choose one of the following plans:

• 1 month = $29.95
• 3 months = $59.95 ($19.98/mo)
• 6 months = $99.95 ($16.66/mo)
• 12 months = $149.95 ($12.50/mo)

Once you upgrade, you’ll be able to use the site’s messenger, chatroom and LiveStream features.

Features

• Swingers blogs
• Voyeur cam
• Travel calendar

Pros

• Speed dating
• Party postings
• Travel alert

Cons

• Must register to enter

3. SwapFinder: Facebook for Swingers Wanting to Swap Wife & Husband

SwapFinder.com is a swinger site with a Facebook-like layout. Up and down each page you’ll see member pics and messages accompanied with videos, comments, “like” buttons and sidebar filters. To connect with other swingers, become a SwapFinder Gold member with one of the following plans:

• 1 month = $39.95
• 3 months = $80.85 ($26.95/mo)
• 12 months = $239.40 ($19.95/mo)

As a Gold member, you’ll get to message other users and add them to your Hotlist. You’ll also get to see who fancies you and possibly take the fun offline.

Features

• Hotlisted Me file
• Multi-tab search filters
• Gifts and Tips

Pros

• Blogs, groups
• Modern layout
• Swinger videos

Cons

• Must join to browse

4. SwingLifeStyle: Most Interactive Swingers Site with Tons of Features

SwingLifeStyle.com is an online community for people who live the swinger lifestyle. The site started in 2001, just as swinging witnessed a surge in popularity thanks to the internet. As of 2020, there are roughly 16 million site members, including over 250,000 in the U.S.

Once you register, you can browse profiles and participate in video chat. You’ll get more options, such as the ability to see and upload nudes, with one of the following memberships:

• 1 month = $14.95
• 3 months = $29.95 ($9.98/mo)
• 6 months = $ 49.95 ($8.33/mo)
• 12 months = $69.95 ($5.83/mo)

Most of the members on SwingLife are between 25 and 54 years old.

Features

• Forums
• Video chat
• Blocking function

Pros

• Nude member photos
• Community environment
• Swinger club map

Cons

• 70% male
• Older demographic

5. Ashley Madison: Best for Affairs Dating with Swingers

Ashley Madison is notorious as the site where married people go to find extramarital flings. By extension, the site is perfectly suited to married and single swingers. If you’re a single guy looking to add married women to your rotation, you’ll probably find them here. If you wish to open your marriage to a married third wheel, this would be one of the best places to look.

Rather than charge a membership fee, Ashley Madison gives members credits at the following prices:

• 100 credits = $59.00 (59 cents per credit)
• 500 credits = $169.00 (34 cents per credit)
• 1,000 credits = $289.00 (29 cents per credit)

Heterosexual women can use Ashley Madison free of charge. Everyone else must purchase credits to use the site. With five credits, you can send your first email to a woman of interest. If she responds, the conversation is free thereafter. Use of the chat room costs one credit per minute.

Your success on Ashley Madison could depend on your online game and effort. When you head to other cities, use the site’s Travelling Man feature to contact users in those areas. AshleyMadison.com is owned by Ruby Corp., all rights reserved.

Features

• Chat room
• Virtual gifts
• Traveling Man

Pros

• Credits, not fees
• Hookup friendly
• Anti-monogamy

Cons

• 90% male
• Thots/fake profiles
• Poor site security

6. Alt.com: The Ultimate BDSM Swinger Site for Alternate Fetishes

Alt.com caters to the kinky side of the swingers community. The site explicitly mentions BDSM and fetish in its byline. The moment you land on their front page, you’ll see images of whips, leather, corsets and a load of other goodies.

As a niche swinger site with 415k members in the U.S., Alt.com isn’t nearly as big as some of the other hookup sites but it’s a good place to find people with a wild streak. The site uses a compatibility metric to determine how each user ranks on the naughty/nice spectrum. Memberships are priced as follows:

• 1 month (Silvers) = $19.95
• 3 months (Silver) = $35.97
• 1 month (Gold) = $29.95
• 3 months (Gold) = $44.97

Each membership rate includes a value-added tax of 15%.

If you’re a sexually conservative swinger (does such a person exist?), Alt.com might not be right for you. If you like your hookups with a bit of kink, give this site a shot. Remember: the fetish world has its own set of mannerisms and if you come off as the garden-variety horny type, you might not be accepted into the fold.

Features

• Local/regional chat rooms
• Member videos
• Silver and Gold plans

Pros

• Sexually open-minded community
• All kinks welcome
• Savings on three-month plans

Cons

• 80% male
• Catfish
• Thots

7. Kasidie: Ultimate Swingers Community for Adventurous Couples

Kasidie is a swinger community and an online dating site with the evocative tagline “Remember my name, you’ll be screaming it later!” The site has membership forums, party listings and a directory of swinger clubs.

You’re encouraged to register the moment you enter. You can upload your bio pic and browse for free, then unlock more features with one of the Elite Certified Membership plans:

• Monthly = $19.95
• Quarterly = $45.00
• Biannually = $75.00
• Annually = $129.95

As an elite Kasidie member, you can send emails and “flirts,” upload lots of photos and use the forums, chat rooms and messenger.

Features

• Chat rooms
• Club listings
• Travel calendar

Pros

• Photo albums
• Special-interest forums
• Party listings

Cons

• Outdated site layout
• Low weekday traffic

8. Reddit SwingersR4R: Free Swingers Feed with Pics from Real Members

The subreddit r/swingersr4r is not like any of the swinger sites covered in this article. Since its on Reddit, admission is free. All you have to do is abide by the rules and you’re in.

The r/swingersr4r feed contains lots of female nude pics and couples photos. Along the sidebar, you’ll see links to books on swinging and similar subreddit communities. The group prohibits dating posts or anything related to cuckoldry.

If you join as a single man, you can only call out to couples. This is not a place for b/g hookups, not even between swingers. Unlike all the paid swinger sites, r/swingersr4r takes a firm social-distancing stance in light of Covid.

Features

• Photo/message feed
• Sidebar links
• Post flairs

Pros

• Nudity allowed
• Sex pics/videos
• Female friendly

Cons

• No “man seeking woman” posts
• No Snapchat/Kik posts

9. FetLife: The Fetish Swingers Hub for Kinky Love

FetLife, as the name implies, is a social network for people into the fetish lifestyle. It is not a dating or hookup site, per se, but you can meet lots of adventurous people here. Where that might go will depend on you and the individual.

With a FetLife Premium account, you can view the fetishes of other members, view photos and videos, and use the messaging feature. Premium membership plans are priced as follows:

• 6 months = $30 ($5/mo)
• 12 months = $60 ($5/mo)
• 24 months = $120 ($5/mo)

FetLife can help you find swingers in your area, but only if you engage in the community. Not everyone is there to hookup in real life but most of the members are open-minded and kinky.

Features

• Fetish-specific groups
• Fetish search
• Pictures, videos, messaging

Pros

• Pro-sexual experimentation
• Members can start groups
• Friend feed

Cons

• Trolls/sock-puppet accounts
• Linked to several criminal cases

10. Tinder: Best App to Find Young Swingers

Tinder is the ultimate swingers app. Launched in 2012, it’s signature function has become so popular that the terms “swipe right” and “swipe left” are now part of everyday vocabulary. For swingers, Tinder can be a goldmine if you know how to work the app.

On Tinder, you swipe left on people you don’t like and right on people you fancy. If you really like someone, swipe up, as that will increase your odds of them seeing you. Remember, be genuine. Don’t swipe right arbitrarily. For Tinder to take you seriously as a user, you should swipe left about 75% of the time. Tinder’s Gold membership plan is priced as follows:

• 1 month = $26.99
• 6 months = $101.49 ($16.92)
• 12 months = $134.99 ($11.25)

To find other swingers for casual sex and hookups, don’t beat around the bush with idle chit chat on Tinder. Everyone flips through the app fast. If you make a connection, try to get a Skype date or offline meetup arranged as soon as possible.

Features

• Photo albums
• Matches, Messages
• Dislike, like, super-like buttons

Pros

• Most popular hookup app
• Libertines/sexually adventurous users
• Membership boosts (for more visibility)

Cons

• 90% male
• Thots
• Must be photogenic

Swinging Website FAQs

How to use swinger sites?

When you join a swinger site, behave the same as you would at a social function. Enter the forums, talk about interests and ask polite questions. The sex talk will soon follow. The more time you put in, the more you’ll get out of the experience.

What are swingers? What is swinging?

Swingers are people who have multiple sex partners at the same time. By some estimates, swingers account for 1% of the adult population. The swinger community largely consists of couples, some who prefer the term polyamory.

Does swinging involve 3-somes?

Swinging involves at least three people. In some cases, you’ll have a ménage à trois. Some settings will include four or more people in an orgy.

Often times, one partner will have sex with a third wheel while the other watches. This is common when a couple seeks a bisexual woman, who has a lesbian encounter with the wife/girlfriend while her husband watches. Sometimes this involves cuckold scenarios where a hotwife gets it on with a young stud. It’s also common for men to seek sexual variety while in a relationship.

Is swinging legal?

In the United States, there are no laws that regulate what consenting adults do between the sheets. It doesn’t matter whether there are two people, three or four. As long as the acts do not involve torture, injury, children or animals, it’s a private matter.

As for swingers clubs, those laws vary by state. In some states, vice laws prohibit swingers from opening clubs on the scale of Plato’s Retreat, regardless of whether it operates on a private-membership or entrance-fee model.

Does swinging help a relationship?

It depends on the couple. If two partners recognize the difference between love and lust, it can be healthy for them to explore sexual desire for its own sake with multiple third wheels.

Why do people swing?

For sexual variety. No one is attracted to only one person in their lives, even if they marry. Throughout life, you’re attracted to hundreds of different people. Swingers embrace the credo “you only live once.”

Il Singles

Is swinging safe?

As long as you screen new people and meet them in safe places, swinging is safe. It’s best to exchange messages and video chats with people on a swinger site before you meet in person. Safe sexual practices (condoms) are also a must.

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Have Fun Using These Swinging Sites

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If you’re looking to spice up your sex life with sexually like-minded people, give swinger dating sites a try. You got nothing to lose. They are worth your time if you are already open to bringing other people into the relationship.